Meditation Diary-131122

Meditation can have different rabbit holes or starting points.

Sometimes its structured, sometimes its just a plain intention to pursue it “here-and-now”.

Sometimes when it is not so structured, I look for what is it that i am experiencing. And sometimes as the scan is on, i identify a clench or tension or concentration or restlessness or postural misalignment. Sometimes i let it be. As it is.

Sometimes there is a tendency to quickly do something about it, de-clench or de-tense, or ease or breathe into it, or visually-ease it. But i avoid all of these sometimes. I want to just gently be near, and just spend some time with it. Reminding myself that not everything is about solving or solutioning or changing. Sometimes it is about familiarizing it and or making it my inner family.

Sometimes I realize that the muscle or posture is either preparing or reacting or both. And in such stressed or stretched or strained or concentrated muscle or posture, one experiences variedness, sort of different parts of my body in different roles. Sometimes the concentrated part is so because the not-so-concentrated part is supporting it or doesn’t have a choice.

Then again sometimes i label it, or speak to myself as to what is it that i am experiencing at different places in my body.

This stretched or strained or stressed or concentrated state of muscle or body sometimes starts to fade or ease on its own. As if it just wanted to be seen, wanted to be attended to. And sometimes i keep dropping into ease. And as the ease keeps getting longer in time, and wider in the body, there comes a time when i reach all-ease and all-is. Sort of stillness and witness. As if it is at the most fundamental or omni-field of my existence. And the myriad movements modifications of the body, feelings or minds are more like the waves or tides, rising and falling.