Surveys

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Once in a while, have been reaching out to small number of people in my network to seek their inputs or response to some questions. These have been done in simple (non-scientific rigor) manner of conversations. Towards the end of this, there is also a small note on something that we have been running for 8+ years now.

The clothes have no emperor: Bad Actors in Change Program (Jan 2023)​

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Several bad actors in business/ politics/ social don't want the game to change. They have identified a few variables and their own leverage over it. Variables + Leverage could be a function of their strengths/ habits/ biases and its interplay with designation/ rules/ norms/ incentives. ​

The moment you change (or they anticipate the change of) the variable or leverage, they start exhibiting on the spectrum of extremes of withdrawal or overly engaging or outright attacking. Some of them who pretend as pro-change exhibit some of the  following behaviors: ​

  • overly friendly, ​

  • sharing something secretive to show as if they are on your side, ​

  • pretending to work towards changing their own self, ​

  • deliberately striking an alliance with you but secretly sabotaging,​

  • creating newfound common interest with erstwhile foes or disenchanted,​

  • just waiting to strike at the right moment,​

  • misusing the narrow interpretations of the implicit or intangible aspects of change,​

  • and because such persons are otherwise intelligent, they end up manipulating their juniors into sharing information that they don't have access to​

  • deliberately keeping you out of loop of the strategically evolving, ​

  • double faced commitments and talks, 

  • appearing to be extremely busy and soaked in somethings urgent and that they shall surely attend to your change needs  soon enough, ​

  • deliberately hog the talktime of the group and ramble all kinds of stuff read recently ​

  • issuing veiled threats to peers or subordinates ​

  • artificially create emergencies or  opportunities as a deflection mechanism, ​

  • appear to be torch-bearers of scientific temper or reflective temper;  ​

  • strongly supporting aspects of change that diminishes their foes or is catharsis to their hidden revenge/past unfairnesses/past incentives due on them/that which increases their position 

  • dangle you with their need for your involvement/advice on something strategic but at the last minute sabotaging you out of it

  • or sometimes taking the advice and acting upon it without involvement or credit; ​

  • do not back you by owning up their part which caused delay or mistake; ​

  • pretentiously show concerns about your  interests or family; ​

  • gamefully plant their own vulnerabilities  or need for counself or advice;​

  • genuinely use your energy when they are frustrated/exhausted but as quickly forgetting its role in the journey​

  • wrongfully misquote or selectively quoting some thinker or friend in higher echelons, to wield their point of view 

  • When it serves then make-appear a consensus discussion by planting leading-questions/leading answers, and otherwise scare everyone and take a unilateral stance​

  • Fiddling with information flow​

  • Favoritism/Nepotism driven involvement of change actors to control the change​

    ​

    The thing is that with practice + experience, one is able to make out through their micro-expressions in conversations & macro-triangulations of behaviors over time. ​​

    One needs to chose the battles one wants to fight. Some battles aren't worth fighting because how low they stoop.       ​ ​​


Why don’t people say some things to other(s)? Why is so much left unsaid? (Nov 2022)

Received 72 responses. Have merged similar/overlapping into the following

  1. One has said the same thing earlier

  2. One's earlier advice has met with bad reaction

  3. Lack of communication skills/one’s own skills

  4. Lack of recipients emotional maturity/recipient’s skills

  5. Recipient’s status or power

  6. Social stigma

  7. Time will tell, i don’t need to

  8. All is well. Why pick bones?

  9. Chill !!!

  10. Fear of being misunderstood(leading to spoiling of relationship) or fear of being judged

  11. There are other battles to fight

  12. That person hurt you or rebuked you on another issue

  13. That person isn’t able to handle criticism, and is passive-aggressive or vindictive

  14. Maybe I am wrong in my assessment

  15. Who am i to judge?

  16. I don’t want to rack my brains

  17. Don’t know how to have difficult or awkward conversations/lack of the ability to be prepared for unpredictability in such human conversations, either by way of skill or structure

  18. There are multiple reasons, and it is difficult to say which ones apply where and when and how

  19. People fear that their vulnerabilities or authenticity might be gossiped or used against

Things missing in Summits/Conferences/Events: Nov 2020

Most media outlets, industry associations, academic institutes, etc organize  annual summits or conference. These have different themes and speakers. Please consider the ones which have A-Lister Global and Indian speakers. 

What is the one thing you feel missing in them? Or One thing that bothers you? Or you would like to see or have from these summits ... that seems to be totally neglected or badly done.

Received 39 responses. Have shared 13 of them here that pretty much cover all responses.


  1. Its Too Pretentious/Fake

  2. Need Less talk time by speaker and more time for Q&A

  3. It isn't shared by all media/association. And stays as a individual media house/brand/association’s exercise...so there is limited reach of the ongoings/discussion.

  4. The biggest problem is that when I attend these summits, most speakers don’t talk anything new. They have the same speech, same QnA that they are used to harping at all platforms. So, nothing new.

  5. I don’t get to ask them questions. If I want to just hear them talk, I can see a YouTube video.

    If you can get me up close and personal to speakers, nothing like it.

  6. I’d like to network with other attendees. I need an opportunity to do so. Can there be authentic communities?

  7. The communication of post conference initiatives. If a concept or need for policy level amendment is discussed, the same is to be followed with relevant authorities to explore end implementation

  8. Most mass communication has become propaganda because it is slave to capitalism. Uneducated, unthinking, unemployed, or simply bored receivers believe and spread these on social media - opinions the garb of news, conclusions instead of fact, deepfakes. Academia is completely delinked from talent / ikigai identification, or entrepreneurship or even industry leading to unemployability issues or employed people not enjoying their work or burning out. Children are overloaded with books about history and languages but not educated about the health of bodies and minds, about empathy, about respect for diversity and ecology or about talent or about how impactful our smallness can be in the context of the cosmos....

  9. No space for dialogue. There is vicious debates and rants. And where there is civilized conversation, they are pleasing each other without depth or novelty or sharpness.

  10. Issues are picked up like flavor of the season. There is no follow through of issues. There is no effort to identify interconnectedness of issues. Basically people are wagging their tongue and there is no accountability.

  11. Celebrity Speakers are given red carpet and no hard questions.

  12. Lack of structure in which conversations or dialogues are held. Biases or favors by Moderators or Organizers.

  13. Moderators unable to dive deep and come up with new questioning.


"Things people in general do not want to change" : July 2020

48 respondents

  1. parent -child relation dynamic

  2. taking love for granted

  3. changing spouse

  4. attitude

  5. mindset

  6. belief

  7. habits

  8. fears

  9. ownself

  10. house

  11. comfort zone

  12. goodness from surprises

  13. food habits

  14. relationship with pets

  15. brainstorming with younger generation

  16. residence neighborhood

  17. their age

  18. urge to feel superior

  19. desire to see change in others but not change one's ownself

  20. password

  21. judgmental about others

  22. identification with body-mind

what is the conversation you want to have but you have never had till date with anyone? : September 2020

63 respondents.

  1. Death ;

  2. apologizing or seeking forgiveness in deeper and sincere way ;

  3. suicidal thoughts ;

  4. ethereal or spiritual ;

  5. sexual desires ;

  6. confessions ;

  7. what do I really really want ;

  8. retirement ;

  9. hidden or unexplored talents ;

  10. pretence ;

  11. family awkwardnesses and trauma ; 

  12. shame-guilt-regrets ;

  13. calling out bullshit and related fear of losing or being attacked ;

  14. how to change this hamster treadmill ;

  15. are adults really adult ; 

  16. I was a child just yesterday and now I am with these identities and roles and "responsibilities" ;

  17. fear of darkness and night;

  18. fear of losing (someone very close or something very very essential or dear); 

  19. culture and morality. 

  20. Why did the perfect life give me a miss ,can it yet be attained?

  21. Just say hi or anything to acknowledge that they are in my thoughts is what I miss. Especially when people don't communicate for unknown reasons. For them especially I just want to communicate

  22. Thanking someone for a deed that in the past seemed hurtful, but actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

  23. What is life

  24. Shall we judge someone and if yes on what basis ?? Do we judge ourselves on everything what we do ??

  25. Wishing having spoken more or differently or about somethings specific with people who are no more with us

  26. Why don’t people speak their heart and are true to express their feeling (feeling to hug/kiss/date/talk/roam/play/learn)?

  27. Why is there so much of fear of being judged?

“most prominent challenge in their everyday conversations”. May 2019

79 respondents.

  1. Inauthenticity in conversation: 46 persons responded as one of the two challenges

  2. You don't feel heard: 27 persons responded as one of the two challenges

  3. You feel interrupted: 24 persons responded as one of the two challenges

  4. You feel misunderstood: 20 persons responded as one of the two challenges

  5. You feel tired/drained after conversations: 19 persons responded as one of the two challenges.

SIYLI-Conscious Labs Happiness Charter Poll - June 2016

75 respondents.

These are excerpts. Rest are confidential and not allowed to be disclosed.

Long Conversations with 1200+ humans- 2012-2020

Sometimes sitting with them. Sometimes working along (just giving them a hand). Sometimes with tea. Sometimes over lunch. Sometimes taking a stroll or break.

From humans who are identified as sweepers, sewer cleaners, cobblers, plumbers, electricians, gardeneers, policemen, nurse, Drs, Lawyers, Chartered Accountants, Pilots, Taxi-wallah, Dabba-wallahs, rickshaw-wallahs, porters, teachers, funeral service humans, politicians, bureaucrats, techies, academicians, prisoners, terminally ill humans, defense force personnels…

Co-sensing the way they see world, hope, people, work, relations, meaning, existence, etc.

We shall be publishing or sharing them on-the-go. Example: When we asked 1200+ people if they feel underappreciated, 95% of them responded with an emphatic yes. And then we had an insight, “if everyone will wait for to be appreciated, then who will initiate and appreciate first”…thus was born “Thank You, India” a social experiment of thanking humans behind the billions of #DailyTinyAct that are routine and right.