How i keep things back?
its the restless next,
until now becomes nest.
It was 10th Feb 2017. My first in the dialogue series. With Chade Meng Tan- Google’s Jolly Good Fellow and NY Times Bestseller “Search Inside Yourself”.
One of the key learnings that emerged was, “Interest is a skill and it can be developed”. It immediately cascaded for me with ancient Sanskrit “Adbhut Rasa” and how “it can be developed”. That very same day, something in me shifted and the following emerged.
Through the day, there are many things that i reach out to. I use them. And then keep them back.
Over the years, i realized that i would do the following while keeping things back:
just throw or shove them back,
not be bothered about whether i am keeping them in proper place,
leave them without knowing that i have to keep them back,
try to keep them in their proper place but missing it a couple of times and getting irritated and then just leaving them or throwing them somewhere
As the practice of meditation continued, there came a time, when i started noticing “how i keep things back?” and “how i am totally uninterested or disinterested in that act?”.
Then somehow i began keeping them differently. Not all times and all things…but a journey of starting to keep some things in proper manner in proper place some times.
This simple act gifted a huge shift in me over time.
It felt like “appreciating” and “gratitude” of a kind towards the things that i have.
It felt like what i would do with surfing in computer… “open window after window or app after app”, start scrolling/using and if i don’t close them properly, then the system would get slow or hang-up.
It felt like understanding deeply the place of these things in my life and my place in the universe.
And over times, they started blessing. Sometimes with insights. Seeing their form and feature in a different way. Sometimes gifting me with an appreciation of their “design features” and how a certain different design could be useful.
Over the years, there was another connection. In one of the interpretations of an ancient Indian text “Ananda Mimansa”, there is a mention about how we connect with things differently at different stages. When we are desiring an object and expecting it to be with us in some due time (priya), when the object is in our possession (mod) and when we are enjoying the object (pramod). It occurred to me that there is this completely different experience we have once we have gone through the enjoyment/use phase of the object. And that stage highlights how we deal with our distaste or a-taste or disinterest towards the object. This also in some small way determines how one savors or deeply experiences the experience with the object.
We have something. We want something. As we move towards what we want, we lose sight and sense of what we have. Everso if we could savor that which we have and or when we are keeping them back after using, it would make for a deep relationship with the object.
